I Am No Island

Confession: I'm tired of being emotionally unstable.

I am holding on by a thread.

Not to worry, this is no cause for alarm! The thread is robust and strong. I know that it won't fail me.

I'm simply tired of feeling this way, and more significantly, I'm tired of asking for endless support from my loved ones.

The last few years of my life have required a great deal of strength from me, as I'm sure many people can relate to. But what I'd like to talk about today is the little piece of shame that can wiggle its way into an already broken heart. The piece that says: You already cried in front of your friend once this week, you certainly can't do it again, it would be horribly pathetic and an unforgivable burden.

Normally, the advice doled out in this situation affirms that it's okay to ask for help; that there's nothing wrong with having a bad day (or week, or month, or year), and that true friends are meant for supporting you during thick and thin.

All of this advice is true.

However, I've found that it is most effective when applied in parallel to another train of thought: the idea that the world is much, much bigger than me.

Let me explain.

I can cry all I want about my woes. And the tears will be real, and my sorrow will be true, and the crying will feel like a release and I might need a hug to feel better.

And, at the same time, my concerns will never be the sole pressing matter. The sparrow concerns herself with finding food for her young. The waves busy themselves with lapping onto the shore. Millions of other heartbreaks occur around the world, every day, and mine is only one of them.

Acknowledging this doesn't negate the sadness I feel. Rather, it adds a little dose of perspective. How freeing to say: yes, this sadness feels endless! But this feeling has been felt before, by some other heart in history, and they survived, and perhaps I can, too.

How freeing to remember that although I might cry at noon, I am also able to run errands for a grateful friend at 2pm. How freeing to remember that even while I have a bad day, someone, somewhere, is having the best day of their lives.

Because I am not an island, and I don't want to be. As people weep with me in my mourning, so I want to cheer with them in their victories.

I am done with trying to hide my tears behind locked doors and drawn curtains; there will be no more denying that I am connected to a world of other people. And I will delight as we share little wisdoms with each other in an attempt to create a life that is true and beautiful.

If there's anything that you want

If there's anything I can do

Just call on me and I'll send it along

With love, from me to you

excerpt: "From Me to You" by The Beatles

With love

From me to you,

Anika