Slow Writing

Confession: I haven't been writing as much recently.

Like many artistic individuals who have decided to turn their hobby into a career, I struggle with keeping my favorite activity pure and fun. Somehow, setting myself goals and metrics turns it into a chore, and I'm left flailing in doubt.

Do I even like writing? Doesn't it kind of suck to sit at your desk all the time? I just want to frolic through a meadow and make fancy baked goods for my picnics au plein air.

But the truth is, words plague me. They haunt my subconscious and echo through my runaway thoughts. Whether I pursue a career in creative writing or not, I will always be a writer. I type out imaginary scenarios in my mind and scribble half-baked poems on napkins. I put on music only to listen to the lyrics. I read books as if they're imbued with living water.

I will always love writing, all the days of my life.

But I still need a framework shift to stave off the never-ending guilt from never writing 'enough'––from never having projects that are as complete or substantial as I'd like them to be.

I've decided to war against late-stage capitalist measures of productivity. Who cares if my mornings are spent nibbling on fresh-baked bread and staring out the window instead of waking up at 5am to write my magnum opus? I never want to give so much of my creative energy to my 'marketable, profitable' projects that I forget to write my own life. Every day, I have the chance to create little moments that are enjoyed by no one but me and God. And isn't that a little bit of what life is all about?

So, if you're an artist who feels like an unproductive waste of talent... remember that there's much more to the life of an artist besides making what you're known for. And hopefully, in time, the art will unravel itself.

Words to live by:

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna have to make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

- “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus